Kisah tragis negara cendawan...

aku neh penghuni negara cendawan..
lama dah aku menetap dinegara cendawan neh..
masa aku mula2 mai dulu.. suasananyer gt ceria.. sgt gembira..
rakyat jelata hidup dgn gembiranya..
even ada jugak politikus mikus disana sini..
tapi kami masih bahagia in o di negara our own way...

tapi... kemelut politik kian meruncing dinegara cendawan neh...
tekanan .. terrtekan.. penyakit .. semakin menular..
ramai yg pergi meninggalkan negara cendawan ini...

haishhh... sapa jek yg sudi berada disini lagi..
semuanya tinggal pergi..
akibat angkara sibusuk hati...
lain kali aku citer lagi..

termaktub sudah segalanya...

1st november aku akan buat india MA semula..
As my full portfolio.. under caryn..
aku dah 2 kali turndown.. tapi kuasa weliton tuh kuat sungguh..
aku terpaksa akur laa..
even aku tak rela..
main reason adalah... mak aku..
next appoinment dia jumpa dr renal adalah bulan dec..
kidney damage dah masuk 90%.. another 5 % to go for dialisis..

Adakala aku tak mo pikir semua tuh..
tapi... hari2 aku nampak mak aku..
walaupun dia makin sihat.. tapi internal dia..
aku tak tau laa.. my journey will getting much tougher now..
semoga aku diberikan keimanan yg kuat ... tabahkanlah hati ku Ya Allah...

Journey yg menakutkan akan bermula...

Aku sudah call pagi tadi..
Sudah confirm semuanya..
akan berangkatlah aku...

selama plus minus 2 purnama...

moga-moga segalanya akan selamat..

Doakan aku yer kengkawan...

Office yg melampau!!

hahhh.. aku dah lama nak tulis pasal menda neh.. tapi asyik ada jek menda yg lain yg mai.. haishh...
tak tau nak mula cmne.... tapi aku mmg adalah sgt sakit hati!!!!

"Dear Sarifah/Aziaton,

We had received your request to assemble decorations and table/chair arrangements at Lvl 12 panty on 25 Sept 09. Your email correspondence did not indicate any information/request on bringing in food and drinks for this event.

It was to our surprise that the Level 12 pantry and walkway to the toilets were all in a very unpleasant condition today morning. The toilets was also used to clean up the dishes and rubbish bags with food waste was left along the walkway.

Please take note that employee's are only allowed to have events with food catering at the L17 Employee Lounge. "

punya laa melampau-selampaunya.. faten ngan farhana dah siap bersihkan pun tak bersyukur. kita org dah masukkan dalam plastik sampah .. plastik sampah pun kita org support sendiri..
hishhh lantak laa.. malas nak layan dah opis neh... menyampah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tapi untuk next2 activities kena deal gak ngan depa..

Pls.. pls.. pls... Dont Speak!!!!!

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Aku yg semakin tak paham...

Aku menci mamat tuh.. huwaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! kan aku dah kena masuk india sepenuhnya...
nampaknyer aku harus la mendemand sket... hilang sudah shift allowance aku.. 300 tuh...
harus la aku mintak untuk tidak dinaikkan band.. huhuhu.. esok aku mahu bersemuka ngan boss neh semua...untuk menyatakan hasrat murni aku tuh..

Wah tekanan gak idup aku neh!!!!!!

EMPTY..

There are always ppl around you.. but you feel empty..

even you tried to feel the happiness but its still tasteless..

you are moving foward but you didnt feel it..

there are pain.. always a pain..

I got big door open for me.. but i didnt feel like step into it..

turn right.. turn left.. i still can made my mind..

keep asking myself.. should i or shouldnt i.. keep questioning why..

all the happiness came i didnt enjoy it..
i close my eyes.. deep thinking... his face appear..

now i know why... he is no more with me..

to share all pain and joy

like before...

Aku yg sangap!!! tersalah anta msg..

Semalam aku wat open kengkawan aku..aku menghantar sms laa..pastuh termasuk lak dia dalam list tuh.. then.. dia mai la ngan mak pak dia.. haishh.. nasib baik aku sorang jek kay umah.. semua pi kenduri.ada laa sedara aku..
tgh dok layan2 ( akan la tak layan kan org dah mai umah ) akak dia lak leh ckp " seronoknyer kalo menantumcm nih kan mak ? serba serbi pandai la.. akeem jgn tgg lama2 kang org amik.. " Hadeh!! aku jammed sat. apa motif akak dia neh.. puji melambung2.. mak dia mmg suka.. dia lagi laa suka.. siap sokong lak tuh.. #$*&$*&%&^$)*(*^(*&)_**^&*^)(~!!!!!!!!
Tak abis kat situ jek.. Mak dia dok tanya bila mak aku nak balik.. dalam hati aku dok doa mak aku tak balik laawaktu cenggini... Alhamdulillah mak aku ada 2 kenduri jadi lambat la balikyer.. lega aku..
Tgh dok duduk2 dpn TV ngan mak dia .. mak dia lak tanya aku.. " ipah tak suka akeem ye? dia ada buat apa2yg tak baik kat ipah ke ? " perlukah aku ceritakan segala keperitan hidup aku ngan dia.. kene lempang.. kena caci maki semua.. Aku senyum jek . mak dia tak putus asa.. " ipah jgn segan, mak tau ( mak ok.. tak tahan) akeem tuh tak sempurna, byk yg dia perlu belajar.. byk yg perlu dia perbaik..tapi mak tau dia sdg cuba memperbaiki diridia..dan dia perlu jugak masa tapi dia perlukan ipah utk membimbing dia.. " alahai lemah lak aku.. bukan aku tak nak tolongtapi hati aku sakit.. sakit ngan perbuatan dia.. entah laa.. aku senyum jek.. dan jawab.. " InsyaAllah, kalo jodoh tuh tak kemana.. " ehheheh pandai tak aku jawab..
tak abis kat situ jek.. akeem naik keta lain.. dia bwk caldina gi singapore.. parent ngan akak dia naik keta lain.. aku pun menghantar la ke kereta.. then lepas keta akak dia pergi.. dia tahan aku. " i rindu you...u nak i buat apa i sanggup.. " hadeh mamat neh ... " kalo u sanggup .. lupakan jek i neh.. mudah bukan ? " pastuh dia tak puas hati" i sanggup tunggu you.. amik la baper byk masa yg u nak.. " perghh janji manis2 neh.. " kalo gitu tgg jek laa.. senang kan? tak yah serabut kepala.. " menyampah betul.. Lagi2 bila teringat apa yg jadik masa bulan posa antara dia ngan ayu.. jeles ke aku ? entah la.. aku sgt sakit hati.. sakit hati tanpa sebab..
Aku tinggalkan dia.. walaupun dalam hati aku ada sedikit rasa kesal.. keliru.. bodoh.. bangang.. semua ada laa.. Saya kesian kat makcik tapi saya benci anak makcik.. so cmne ???

I'm back to Emea tapi tak back sgt la pun..

Depa still takut nak annc to country.. atas sbb country dah escalate this thing to bob. caswel.. hadeh... tapi tak pe la.. its good.. aku pun patut move dah ke team lain.. but my mom condition aku tak leh laa.. i know the management dah byk tolarate ngan aku.. sampai ada gak sore2 yg tak puas hati.. haishhh..

busy mmg busy.. dan aku byk menyusahkan org jugak.. jadi aku minta maaf la..
This month aku akan keje ngan lebih keras lagi.. mencuba sedaya upaya memenuhi kehendak semua .. dan kehendak aku jua..

Tapi.. aku actually sgt bahagia dapat masuk kul 3.. hehehe.. got more time kat umah..
tak kisah laa kena online pun.. online jek kan.. apa la sangat..

Aku tak kisah.. aku bahagia mcm neh..